Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Happy Birthday, outLOUD!

Monday, October 20, 2008

Success Through Confidence Series Part 30: How To Ask A Co-Worker Out

You think you’ve met the man/woman of your dreams – and they work in your office. Some people say that it isn’t wise to mix business with pleasure. But if works for you and your both have feel a mutual connection, approach it with these pointers in mind:

1. Check your corporate policy. Is dating a co-worker prohibited altogether? If so, you are jeopardizing your job. Other companies have policies that allow co-workers to date as long as both parties sign a "Relationship Agreement" release to abdicate liability.

2. Take it outside. Try to organize a group outing or event, and invite the co-worker you're interested in. If she accepts, you're already a step in the right direction. If not, please don’t force her. If she isn't interested in a coffee outing after work with the gang, chances are she's even less inclined toward dinner for two. Take the hint.

3. Ask only once. If you do hit it off outside work, now is the time to venture an offer for a one-on-one outing. Keep the conversation light, and suggest something casual, like dinner or a movie. If he says no, do not ask again later. If he seems a little hesitant, take that as a no-he may not want to hurt your feelings, and may make excuses. Drop the subject and hang on to your dignity. Groveling is not attractive. Remain friendly.

4. Think hard-you still have to work with this person. If things go sour (or go nowhere), you still have to see and interact with her daily. Be prepared for that before you start, and adopt the attitude of maturity.

5. Choose one. If you like one person, that's great. Go for it. If you're planning to systematically ask out every person you work with, you deserve to be fired.
Bear in mind that you're always opening yourself up to harassment suits and even termination. Handle it correctly, however, and workplace dating can lead to great things.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Success Through Confidence Series Part 29: Standing Up & Speaking Out At Work

Office politics is a disgusting thing and it can be pretty cruel. Many people get taken advantage of simply because they are afraid of standing up for themselves. It can be intimidating to confront difficult situations at work.

A large number of people don’t want to be considered rude or disrespectful, so they accept things that happen and don’t speak up when they’re frustrated. Eventually, they end up quitting and moving on without ever having tried to be assertive.

There are ways to be assertive and professional and it is a delicate balance but one that is well worth the effort.

Before you get excited thinking that you can get people to fear you, remember that being assertive does not mean being pushy, confrontational or rude. It simply means being straight-forward and strong. If you have an idea, opinion or problem to address, being assertive tells others you mean business. Here are a few tips to help you be more assertive without upsetting others or harming your reputation at the office.

Being assertive doesn’t mean you will always get your way. You must still make reasonable requests and expect that sometimes you’ll get exactly what you want and sometimes you won’t. Compromise and negotiate.

If you have a problem with someone or something, don’t beat around the bush. Don’t gossip with others, or write mean things on your blog. Confront the situation head on by speaking with the people directly involved.

It is much easier to take advantage of someone who seems meek and submissive than someone who appears poised and self-confident. Don’t allow yourself to be intimidated by those in authority. Maintain a self-assured image even when in doubt. Always be professional but stand your ground. Set appropriate limits and learn how to say “no” when necessary.

If you’re feeling stressed, take a few minutes in private to breathe deep and re-focus yourself. Be cautious of sharing your feelings with co-workers as it may come back and bite you in the future.

It’s much easier to be assertive when you remember that you are a valuable member of the organization you work for. Your presence and contribution are important. They didn’t hire you to blend into the background. Let your voice be heard, show your personality and be strong. Don’t be afraid of being assertive. It is definitely possible to do it without upsetting others or looking aggressive. If done in the correct way, being assertive will help you build a powerful reputation in any business.

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Success Through Confidence Series Part 28: Your First Presentation

Never underestimate that organization is the most essential aspect of oral presentation. It clarifies your argument and helps the audience remember what you say. It also helps you, the speaker, easily manage the delivery of your presentation so that you can gracefully adjust to unforeseen developments.

A good introduction focuses the attention of the audience on the speaker, and outlines the thesis and support so that listening for each part of the speech is easy for the audience.
These are some basics:

Hook: Your first sentences are the most important. It is your chance to capture the audience for the entire presentation. Start your presentation with a short anecdote, quotation, fact or any other device that is topical and will interest your audience.

State the Significance of Your Topic: Inspire the interest of your audience by telling them why your subject matter is of significance to them.

Conclusion: Your conclusion should give the audience a sense of closure. You might return to your “hook,” pose questions for further discussion, or suggest future inquiries that would further illuminate the topic.

Friday, October 17, 2008

Success Through Confidence Series Part 27: Conducting Your First Meeting

How to conduct your first office meeting is the kind of question filled with anxiety, bitten nails, and the inevitability of Murphy’s Law – that anything can and will go wrong. Yet in spite of all the things that can go wrong, by concentrating on getting a few key components right you will be able to make a good impression and score enough brownie points to cover over a multitude of blunders and problems.

Here are some champion tips that will help you to learn how to conduct your first office meeting:

1. You need to have a room reserved that is congruent with the intent of your meeting. In other words, if you are planning on hosting a “get to know you” meeting for your new team, choose a setting that is somewhat casual.

2. On the other hand, if you will be delivering bad news during your first office meeting, you want to choose a room that is dignified and conservative.

3. Make sure you have enough seats for everyone who is expected to attend. Reserving rooms in many offices is as simple as putting your name on a list, but it does not hurt to double check the day before the meeting that the room is still reserved in your name!

4. Have all your hardware in place. There is nothing more stressful to the host of the first office meeting than to be unable to showcase the slides you so earnestly prepared.

5. If the computer does not work, the overhead is broken, the easel and whiteboard have gone missing, and there are no dry erase markers to be found anywhere, you will find yourself sweating and holding a meeting that lacks in impact. The day before the meeting, visit the room where the meeting is held and test all the equipment.

6. Be prepared! How to conduct your first office meeting is by being prepared. Have your material in order, so you can access any file, document, graph or slide at a moment’s notice.

7. Memorize significant passages and figures.

8. Anticipate questions, objections, and disagreements and be ready with answers, suggestions, and compromises.

9. Have a plan and follow it. An office meeting needs to be organized. Too many meetings digress as participants go off on tangents, and secondary issues are being dealt with. Instead, type up and print out an agenda that will be given to each participant.

10. Stick to the agenda! It is best to relegate questions to a “questions and answers” session at the end of the meeting.

11. Thank you participants for coming to the meeting. You will be surprised how many meeting hosts forget to thank everyone for stopping what they were doing to attend your meeting. It is a common courtesy that will go a long way.

Interestingly, one item significantly neglected by those who want to learn how to conduct a first office meeting is the art of follow up and follow-through. Check in with those who volunteered for tasks or to whom you assigned anything.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Success Through Confidence Series Part 26: Recovering From Mistakes

We’ve all made mistakes – there are some of us who decide to correct our errors, learn from it or others who choose to just forget about it. Making a mistake at work can cause problems for your employer and even affect the company's bottom line.

More often than not, it’s not as simple as correcting your mistake and moving on – this might not an option for you. When you make a mistake at work your career may depend on what you do next. Before you panic and rush to draft out your letter of resignation, here are some of the wiser things you can consider:

Be an adult and take responsibility - Admit Your Mistake: Tell your boss about your mistake immediately. The only exception is if you make an insignificant error that will not affect anyone. Otherwise, don't try to hide your mistake. You will look terrible if someone else discovers it.

Have a s solution - Present Your Boss With a Plan To Fix Your Mistake: When you go to your boss to confess your mistake, you must have a plan for correcting it. Present your plan clearly. Tell your how long it will take to implement your plan and if there are any costs involved.

Be accountable - Don't Blame Anyone Else for Your Mistake: Pointing fingers won't help anyone if you make a mistake. Encourage those who may share responsibility to follow your lead in confessing to your boss.

Apologize for your mistake – But Don’t Punish Yourself: There's a big difference between admitting your mistake and beating yourself up about it. Take responsibility but don't berate yourself for making it, especially in public.

Make the effort - Correct Your Mistake on Your Own Time: If you have to spend extra hours at work to correct your mistake, don't expect to be paid for that time. You can also use your lunch hour or come into work early.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Success Through Confidence Series Part 25: Fitting In: What To Do During Your First Week

First day work jitters are normal as most people are nervous about whether they’ll fit into the workplace. The time it takes to fit in varies from one person to another, and job to job. Some people seem to get along well with everyone from the first day, while others take much longer. These are some suggestions to help you along:

1. Open your mouth and ask questions – not personal ones though. You're new and it's better to do something right the first time around than have to do it over.

2. Smile a lot and be friendly. Get to know your co-workers and what their interests are.

3. Use your lunch hours to get together with your current co-workers, although it may be tempting to meet up with your former ones.

4. Figure out who has the authority to give you work to do and who is just trying to have you do theirs.

5. Pay attention to what you hear about others, but don't contribute to it and never pass judgment. You don't want to gain a reputation as a gossip monger.

6. Don't complain about your boss, your office mate, any co-workers, or your previous job.

7. Continue to arrive early and don't rush out the door at the end of the day.

8. Volunteer for projects that will help you get noticed, but don't neglect any assigned work.

9. Keep a positive attitude and an open mind. Your life has changed and it will take getting used to.

Success Through Confidence Series Part 24: Your First Day On The Job

You wake up all ready to begin your first day on the job. You’re excited! You’re motivated! You put on the one suit that you know makes you shine. If you feel confident, you'll look confident to others. Whether you're driving to work or using mass transit, be sure to leave plenty of time to get there early. Treat it like a job interview, and remember first impressions do count. Eat breakfast before you leave your house -- fresh breath and clean teeth (no poppy seed bagels, please) are a must. You don’t want to smile at someone and have them know what you had for breakfast.

Your work day begins when you leave your house. You never know when you'll come into contact with your co-workers or boss. So be decent to everyone you meet.

So you finally made it to your new workplace. Now take a deep breath and walk in with a smile on your face. Keep your head up and remember to make eye contact. Be polite and friendly to everyone you encounter, whether it's the receptionist or the mailroom clerk, your colleagues or your new boss. Introduce yourself to those you meet and remember that it's okay to ask questions. People generally like to help others and it usually makes them feel good about themselves. I remember a new co-worker who refused all offers of help. I guess she thought it would make her look incompetent to our boss. The result was that everyone thought she was a snob or a know-it-all and some people even vowed to refuse to help her in the future.

While it's okay to hold onto some of things you learned in your previous jobs and use that knowledge in your new job, remember that every workplace has it's own way of doing things. Your first few weeks or even months on a job is not the time to change the way things get done. Do not utter these words: "That's not how we did it at my old company." Your colleagues will just be thinking this: "Well, you're not at your old company and if you liked it so much why didn't you stay there."

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Success Through Confidence Series Part 23: What To Do After You Get The Job

Your resume hooked the interview and you were a champion with the hiring manager, and just as impressive with a group of would-be coworkers in the second interview. And today they offered you the job! Congratulations!

But before you yell out in ecstasy and do the funky chicken dance, Here are a few things to keep in mind:

Tell them you're very pleased to receive the offer, and that you will get back to them with your response within, say, 48 hours.

Review the Offer. "Get it in writing" may be a cliché, but it's really good advice. Many companies will detail the job offer in a formal letter. If you don't get a written offer, it's a good idea to ask for one. Or, consider writing your own letter, outlining your understanding of the offer. A standard offer letter will cover the following:

* Your job title;

* Your starting date;

* Whom you will report to;

* Compensation (wages or salary, bonuses, commissions);

* Benefits; and

* Vacation time and paid holidays.

Verify the Details. Does everything in the letter match what you and the company discussed during the interviews? Is the salary where you thought it would be? Is there a waiting period before your benefits kick in, or until you can begin using your vacation time? (Both are standard in many companies.) Know before you sign.

Don't be unreasonable, but go ahead and inquire. (And now would also be a good time to let your boss-to-be know about that big time vacation you've booked for next month.)

Trust Your Gut. Does this position - at this company - help you take your career in the direction you want to go? Is it the right cultural fit? Does it encourage work-life balance? Do people seem to enjoy working with each other? Does the company mission mesh with your values?

If anything doesn't feel right, it may be wise to decline the offer. On the other hand, if you can answer those questions in the affirmative, go ahead and sign and love what you do!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Success Through Confidence Series Part 22: Preparing For Round # 2

In preparing for second or subsequent interviews you will want to:

Review the employer information and perform more extensive research on the organization.

Review your notes from the first interview to assess what were the most important candidate qualifications and the needs/problems of the employer. Prepare your responses to effectively address these issues.

During the second interview, you will be asked more in-depth questions about your qualifications, extra-curricular activities, prior work experience and career objectives. Practice answering anticipated questions.

Prepare/revise your list of questions to ask the employer. Unlike the first interview, you will be given more time to ask questions during the second interview, so have lots of questions.

Be prepared to discuss salary. The employer may ask you about your salary requirements. Research typical salary ranges for the position. However, you should never initiate a discussion about salary. It is best to wait until the employer wants to make you an offer before salary is ever discussed.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Success Through Confidence Series Part 21: Discovering Your Hidden Talents

The best career is one that takes advantage of your skills and abilities and fulfills your passions. There are many who have a difficult time deciding their career path. Don’t worry if you feel you’re one of them - you can find the right path and discover what career you will excel in. Two of these simple steps might help guide you to the right path.

Step One – Recognize Your Skills and Abilities
Most people are not fully aware of their skills and abilities. However, knowing what you are good at is just as important as being good at something. How do you identify your skills? There are several ways. You probably already have some idea about the skills and talents you have.

Think about things you enjoy doing, and things you are good at. Maybe you’re a great problem solver. You may be good with numbers. You may have a talent for writing. You can easily translate these skills into a successful career.

Like a child learning about the new world, an adult interested in finding the right career must explore new territory, and their own skills, talents and abilities.

Step Two – Identify Your Passions
Every human being is passionate about something. If you funnel your passion into your career you will enjoy the work you do day in and day out. You will find your life is much more richly rewarded once you start channeling you energy into your passions. Think about one or two activities you want to try, then go for it. You can try out a career choice by acquiring a certificate to learn more about what that job and passion will entail.

Entrepreneurs have one thing in common. They follow their dreams. They create successful business ventures by relying on their skills, abilities and passions. You don’t have to be a millionaire to realize the same success. Just use a little common sense and you’ll get there sooner than you think.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Success Through Confidence Series Part 20: Bouncing Back With Determination

It’s important to hit rock bottom a few times personally. It keeps you grounded in reality. Seriously, this is what you should do - get a copy of The Pursuit of Happyness. It sounds like you are in the perfect frame of mind to watch this one and it will show you what the human spirit is capable of when the desire is there.
There are some of people who’ve become so used to setting the bar so high that they see failure in relative terms.

It’s natural to consider what will happen if you fail at something and you should. What happens if you fail a sports event? Ultimately: nothing. You forget about the consequences with a couple weeks. Failing college? I'd have to move home and start from scratch. It’ll probably make you want to faint a couple of times, but hardly the end of the world.

The more you can visualize what you do if you fail at a goal, you end up worrying less about failing the goal. Right now I imagine you're seeing the failure as something foreign and frightening. For a child, this might seem like a monster under the bed. For an adult it can feel like a numbing dread. But the more you put a human face on it the less it scares you; the less it stresses you; and the calmer you are about tackling your goals.

Friday, October 10, 2008

Success Through Confidence Series Part 19: Exploring Your Options

Career exploration is the second stage of the career planning process. You will begin to explore careers after completing the first stage of the career planning process, self assessment. During that stage you took inventory of your values, interests, personality and skills. You should have come away from the self assessment stage with a list of careers that are appropriate for you based on what you found out about yourself.

Now it's time to learn about the careers on your list so you can begin to make that list shorter. Your goal is to eventually narrow it down to the one career you want to pursue. Try not to eliminate any career from your list until you do, at least, a little bit of research about it. Even if you think you know about an occupation, you may be surprised by what you learn.

Start With the Basics

At first you will just want to gather some basic information about each career on your list. Let's assume you have a list of ten occupations. You can do some preliminary research which will allow you to narrow down your list before you do more in depth research. When exploring careers you will need basic information such as job descriptions, employment statistics, job outlook, earnings and educational and training requirements.

Thursday, October 9, 2008

Success Through Confidence Series Part 18: When It Doesn’t Work Out – What Happened?

You've spent a restless night. The interview for the job you’ve been lusting after has come and gone and you didn’t get the job.

You ask yourself these questions: Did you leave out any essential information that would put you ahead of the other candidates? Say anything that you shouldn't have? This is an indication that you're suffering from post-interview blues.

Interviews are full of hints. Some say, "This is the one." Others say, "Thanks, but no thanks." Here's a few that will give you insight on how you did, and how you'll do in a future interview.

Was the interviewer engaged with you?

When you were there, was there positive body language? What was the interviewer doing? Was there ongoing eye contact? Did the interviewer stay behind a desk, or come out from behind it and sit across from you or close by?

Did she lean in toward you when she asked a question or you responded to one? Did she probe into any areas after you answered? Did she attempt to tie in any issues or topics to the position you're seeking?

How did she listen? Did she nod her head when you replied to a question or made a statement, or did you feel you were in the presence of a zombie? Did she take notes?

Were there encouraging or positive clues?
Phrases such as, "Tell me more, "This sounds like our," "Go on," "I like what you are saying (or I'm hearing)" all indicate more than casual interest.

Were you interrupted or cut off?
Your interviewer could be disinterested or bored if he cuts you off mid-sentence or interrupts you. At the first sign of either, switch gears and ask him a question that's directly tied into what you said. It could be, "Did I answer your question fully or would you like another example?" Then be quiet until there is a response.

Did you go on and on?
Savvy job-seekers ask questions. It's common for interviewers to ask if you have any questions about the position or company. Did you?

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Success Through Confidence Series Part 17: Ten Tips For A Super Job Interview

Job interviews in many organizations are getting sophisticated these days. Psychological tests, role plays, and challenges to one's "quick intelligence" and street smarts are often part of the package. While it's impossible to anticipate everything you may encounter, here are ten tips that will help you negotiate the interview process successfully.

1. Prepare and over-prepare.

2. Be particularly clear on what you know and what you want to achieve.

3. Make sure your responses match your claims.

4. Be clear about your strengths

5. Describe your weaknesses as strengths. Show that, in overcoming a weakness, you've learned to be a better person.

6. If you've been fired, be forthright about it – but don’t be bitter.

7. Be clear where you want to go – have direction and focus.

8. Have clear personal standards.

9. Interview the interviewer.

The applicant who will take anything offered is unlikely to win any but the most temporary of positions. A competent interviewer (there are some) will respect your efforts to assess the organization and the position in terms of whether or not it meets YOUR requirements.

10. Don't allow yourself to be stressed out by the salary issue.

Know the range of compensation for the job you're seeking, make your own realistic determination of what you're worth, and then be prepared to stand your ground.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Success Through Confidence Series Part 16: Ten Worst Interview Blunders

The interviewer doesn’t know you and you’ve really got to work at the impression you make Please avoid these mistakes if you want to at least be respected during and after your interview.

Blunder #1: “My alarm clock didn’t go off!”

Blunder # 2: Being rude to the secretary/receptionist
Treat each individual in the recruitment process with respect, from the secretary to the test administrator, or you may find yourself out the door before you even get through it.

Blunder # 3: “Sorry, I haven’t had time to Google you yet.”

Blunder # 4: “I single-handedly doubled my company’s profits last year.”
If you’re applying to a job where teamwork is a must you might even consciously exchange the word ‘I’ for ‘we.’

Blunder # 5: The salary minefield
Please don’t make this an issue and be pushy about it – do your research about the market rate and approach it professionally.

Blunder # 6: “My last boss was such a jerk!”

Blunder # 7: “You mean this is not a therapy session?”
The interviewer doesn’t want to hear about your miserable childhood, your failed marriage or your ongoing relationship problems.

Blunder # 8: And you keep going…and going…and going…
Keep your answers short but informative, and finish with, “Would you like me to elaborate on that?”

Blunder # 9: “I don’t really have any weaknesses.”
Be forthright and self-critical, and never mind fake weaknesses. If you’re not good at managing your time, say so but also say what you’re doing about it.

Blunder # 10: Desperation
It’s always a good idea to send a note after the interview thanking the employer for taking the time to talk to you. If you really feel you didn’t do too well, send a note saying. “I believe I didn’t do as well in the interview as I could have. Here are a few things I don’t think I articulated very well.” Keep it short and factual, and then wait three or four days to call, unless they tell you they’re just not interested.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Success Through Confidence Series Part 15: The Interview to Remember

As you read articles and books about interviewing, you will notice that most of the information focuses on "being prepared." When you look closely at the information provided, you will see that many of the tips given focus on the external preparation: what to wear, body language, handshakes, and strong examples. There is much less emphasis or information found on preparing internally for the interview.

Internal preparation begins with your feelings about yourself, as well as your feelings about searching for a job and interviewing. If you have been having a difficult time finding a job or have been laid off, your self-confidence may be running a little low.

Your feelings about yourself and your self-esteem, or self-confidence, are fragile and can change from situation to situation. You can gauge your level of confidence or self-esteem by asking yourself the following question, “Are you prepared to go out and sell yourself, and feel good about what you are selling - YOU?” If your answer is, "No," then there is some work to do on the inside before you can sell on the outside.

If you ask any sales person, he or she will tell you that it is much easier to sell a product that you believe in than it is to go through the motions of being passionate about something you really don't like or trust. Individuals who do not believe in their own ability cannot possibly convince someone else that they are the "best" candidate for the job. Begin by believing in yourself in order to gain the confidence needed to influence someone else to "buy" what you are selling – you!

Only when you believe in yourself can you convince someone else that you are the best person for the job.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Success Through Confidence Series Part 14: Preparing To Launch Yourself

When it comes to job interviews, preparation isn't everything, but it's almost everything. The more prepared you are, the more likely you are to stand out from the rest of the applicants. Before you walk into the interview, you've got to know the company almost as if you already work there, know how you'll answer the inevitable tough questions and much more. The upside, however, is that when you know you've got it all mastered, you can walk in the door confident and ready to show that you're the best person for the job.

1. Do your homework.

2. Get up-to-date, inside information about the company and department you're interviewing with.

3. If you can, talk with current and former employees.

4. Search at least a year's back issues of general business and trade publications for mentions of the company.

5. Check out the company's Web site. This is important—while other sources give you the outside world's view of the company, the Web site gives you the company's view of itself.

6. Read between the lines to get clues about the corporate culture.

7. Check out job openings listed on the site—if the one you're interviewing for is posted, see if there's a salary listed. Also, see if they're looking for a particular skill you can show off at the interview.

8. Presenting yourself properly is incredibly important.

9. Fix interview flaws before the big day, not once it's too late.

10. Practice interviewing with friends and family and ask for their feedback.

11. Videotape yourself. Hit fast-forward to see how gestures become obvious (and comical).

12. Read and reread your resume.

13. Take a look at the skills and accomplishments you've listed.

14. Think through how you can apply them to what you've learned about the company's needs. This way, you'll be ready to respond to specific questions about how your experiences can be assets to the company.

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Success Through Confidence Series Part 13: Being Happy At Work

You wake up every morning feeling like there’s no purpose in your job anymore and it’s just a means to an end. If so, then you are in a rut. Would you like to be more engaged, satisfied, and fulfilled in your work? Would you like to be more productive and feel a greater sense of accomplishment at the end of each day? Well you can. It just takes a desire and commitment to renew your habits and routines. Follow these tips and you’ll see your work life improve. And that improvement will trickle into the rest of your life too.

Power Question. Keep a question like this at your desk to help you stay focused:
“Am I making the most of my time right now?” or “Is this the most productive use of my time?”

Accept That You’ll Never Finish Your Task List. For perfectionists and overachievers this is as frustrating as a greyhound forever chasing the mechanical bunny around the track. Get off that track. Just make sure you work on your most important stuff first. Let the fluff slide, not your priorities.

Turn off Your Computer. Now before you get all prickly under the collar and want to scream, “What?! “Everything is done on my computer!” Well is it really? What percentage truly is? Plan to have your computer on only for that amount of time each day. Plan out blocks of time for different computer tasks and work from a checklist to keep you focused. Giving your eyes a rest from the screen will give you more energy for creating. Even if you just close your eyes as you think of a response to an email can help too.

Conflicts with Others. Let your goal be “to make progress.” Don’t get caught up in trying to “be right” or to “win” the argument. That will just slow you down. In your mind ask yourself, “what will move this conflict forward right now?” And then get busy doing that.

Take Breaks. It’s a fact that taking breaks will increase productivity. It’s been proven in studies. If you need to, find someone to help ensure you take a morning and afternoon break.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Success Through Confidence Series Part 12: Realizing Your Passion

You can ask anyone to point you in the right direction – but chances are you’ll get lost in the seas of differing opinions. Only you can unlock your inner potential only when you’re doing something that you really love to do.

You can fulfill your innermost aspirations only when you’re doing something that interests you, something that holds your attention, something in which you can become completely absorbed. And this is what passion is all about.

Only you can and must decide what’s right for you, what will make you happiest, before you decide what’s possible. You must set ideal standards and goals and results as your aim and then determine how to accomplish them.

Take some time to decide the kind of person you’d like to be, and the kind of person you’d have to become in order to live the kind of life that you’d like to live. You need to develop an unshakable level of self-confidence that makes you virtually unstoppable.

Many people succeed not because they have remarkable characteristics or qualities. The most successful people are quite ordinary, just like you and me. Most of us start off poor and confused. We spend many years getting some sort of direction in our lives.

But the turning point comes when we begin to believe that we have within us that divine spark that can lead us onward and upward to the accomplishment of anything that we really want in life.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

Success Through Confidence Series Part 11: Know You Deserve Better

Let’s play 20 questions.

1. Do you play the role of the victim in life? This totally goes to childhood issues and emotional problems.

2. How many times have you been told, that you deserve better than your current situation?

3. But can you make change?

4. How can you help yourself?

5. Examine your relationships with friends and family, how you are being treated?

6. Do you deserve better?

7. Look at your home, your level of abundance, your job. Do you deserve better?

The way you experience is partly about how you see yourself and your self worth. It is about your ability to give and to feel comfortable receiving. It is about your ego and your self esteem.

8. Certain souls believe they deserve everything on all levels - love, respect, honor, family, career. They earn it, then they help others attempt to reach this level of frequency in their lives. They know they deserve the best and will settle for nothing less. They do not necessarily abuse others to achieve their goals. They are, or become, mentally stable. Are you?

On the flip side, there are those who feel they deserve the best and cause havoc in the lives of those around them, in attaining their goals. Look at your life.

9. Are you in a relationship?

10. Do you deserve to be treated better, with more respect?

11. Why are you staying?

12. Consider your job. How are you treated at work?

13. Are you getting the kind of professional career you’ve always wanted?

14. Are you treated equally?

15. Do you deserve better?

16. Why are you staying?

17. What part of your soul are you giving up to maintain something in your life that perhaps deserves to be made better through change?

18. Do you perhaps need to get out of your comfort zone in order to get better?

19. Is it someone holding you back or maybe it’s you?

20. What 3 things you like best about yourself?

You deserve the best you can achieve in this physical experience. Think about it. If you think you deserve better, go for it.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Success Through Confidence Series Part 10: The Date – No Sweaty Palms or Awkward Moments Here

Finally! The person you’ve been silently obsessing over has agreed to go on that stomach-churning first date with you. Suddenly, your brain turns to jello, your break out in sweat and you feel a cardiac arrest coming on. You are nervous as hell at the mere thought of going on that date. What you thought would make you deliriously happy, is now a waking nightmare for you.

Relax.

In order to not make a fool of yourself and calm down as much as possible so that you don't cause a wonderful moment to turn catastrophic, follow these pointers:

Wear something you feel comfortable in – but please leave the gym clothes at home.

As for makeup, don’t get adventurous with color and experiment an hour before going out! If he met you with the face you were wearing the day he met you, that's probably what he wants to see. He does not want to date Coco The Clown.
Eat whatever you order. If you enjoy eating, get something you want to eat. And if s/he looks at you funny or decides to comment about it, just tell him politely - ‘I'm not complaining, why should you?' and smile.

Don't be afraid to suggest seeing a movie you like, choosing a restaurant, or an item on the menu. Show your date that have an opinion and are not a mindless zombie.

Drinking is NOT a good way to shake nerves! Not only does it preclude your judgment, there's nothing worse than a man having to put up with a drunken woman during a date! If you must, have only one beer, one glass of wine or one cocktail. In these cases, maybe a little faux pas to show that you are human is better than to say things under the influence - especially if you are not a drinker at all. You will wind up saying (or sadly doing) things you will ultimately regret and give a lasting wrong impression of yourself.