Success Through Confidence Series Part 8: Asking for a Date – And Getting a Yes

Many people feel nervous when they have to ask someone out. They are invariably scared of rejection and hence a lot of people don't bother. However, this need not be the case. At the end of the day it is all about technique.

It's easier if you know the person
Asking someone out is easier if you have got to know the person a little more through your dealings or conversations with them in the past.Through your contact with this person in this past it will make it easier for you to start a conversation on a topic you have previously discussed and then make your way to the killer question!

The way to do this is make your question as casual as you possibly can.
"I was wondering whether you'd like to see the new Bond movie with me at the weekend?" But what if you do not know this person? Well, I'd assume that you have been looking at each other or made eye contact etc. Go up to the person and ask casually again "We must get together and do something sometime". By saying it in this way it doesn't sound like a formal date and hence has more appeal.

Also, you don't sound desperate for the date and you don't sound like a little kid saying "Will you go with me?" or "Will you go out with me?" It's always best to ask someone out in the flesh, but doing it by phone is ok.

Never get your friends to do it, that's a little cowardly! The beauty about asking someone out on the phone is that you can have notes in front of you, he or she will never know!

Okay, so on to the answer! If he/she says yes, it's happy days! If he/she says no or declines, don't worry about it. Read the non verbal communication signals like body language and the tone and pitch of the voice. Maybe the timing isn't right for this person or maybe he/she needs to get to know you a little better.

At the end of the day just reply with: "Okay, maybe another time perhaps” or"Okay, no problem". Justy don’t turn to a stalker – it’s not attractive. Try asking the person out on 3 occasions, if he or she makes an excuse each time, take the hint that they are not interested and move on!

1. Women love to be romanced, asked out, and spoken to. They hate to be threatened, controlled, manipulated, and not given the space and time to make their own given choices! Give them time and space, never pressure!

2. There is only one reason a woman would ever go out with a particular man. That reason is because when she thinks about him, she feels good, and saying yes will make her feel good.

3. It is not nearly as important, what a woman thinks about you when you are in her presence, as it is important, what she thinks about you when she is alone.

Never get hung up on one girl that is out to make you a loser. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

It's good to be self-confident but never put to much confidence in any one woman.

When attempting to close for a date always speak with your goal in mind. Don't beat around the bush with chit chat, take control by asking questions, get on track, and follow the process with your goal in mind.

When talking to women you could possible date, ask questions because:

Asking questions communicates a genuine concern to the other person.

Questions are the most non-threatening form of communication and they make women feel relaxed and comfortable.

Her answers give you information that can help you overcome possible objections ahead of time.

Her answers tell you what she likes and dislikes.

It's always better to be a good listener than a good talker. Even a shy person can keep the conversation going with questions.

In addition to the importance of asking questions there is an additional way to make your questions even more non-threatening, to further relax the other person.

It includes an introduction to any question such as, "May I ask...", "I am just curious......", "I was just wondering......", or "If I were to ask you.....". These beginning lines are good to use when you think the question itself could be considered a little threatening to the other person.